this gets funnier every year
The year is 2042. Your daughter is awkwardly silent as she eats her dinner. “Something wrong sweetie?” She sighs and puts down her fork. “I was digging really deep in AO3 last night…Why didn’t you finish that coffee shop au?” It happened. Your past has come back to haunt you. Nay, it never truly left.
i think the coolest thing would be to see a new color
THAT THEY’RE NOT TRYING
BECAUSE HOW THE FUCK WOULD YOU KNOW IF THEY’RE TRYING OR NOT
JUST BECAUSE IT DOESN’T LIVE UP TO YOUR STANDARDS DOESN’T MEAN THEY’RE NOT TRYING
"how are you doing?"
[makes several vague hand gestures and various noises rather than giving an actual answer]
how can i take selfies without wanting to kill myself afterwards
i dont need a boyfriend i need 12 million dollars and a donut
12 million dollars can be used to obtain many donuts.
money can be exchanged for goods and services
WHY DO PEOPLE CALL IT FUCK, MARRY, KILL WHEN THEY COULD CALL IT BED, WED, BEHEAD
easy there henry
whos henry what thef uck?
*faint laughter from Britian*
SHOWERS ARE FUCKING INCREDIBLE. OH UR SKIN FEELS STICKY? SHOWER. HAIR A LITTLE GREASY? SHOWER. NEED TO ESCAPE YOUR FAMILY? SHOWER.